Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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