I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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