You're a womanizer and a bitch.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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