She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
