Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
