pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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