Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
