im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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