her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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