Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
