I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
