I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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