All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
