tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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