i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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