you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
