i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
