There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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