I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
