I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
