There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
