I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
