Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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