u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
