I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
