I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
