Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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