Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
