So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
