we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
