Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
