My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
