I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you win again, gameday.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize