I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
