how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the condom got lost in my hair
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
