I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
