Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
