i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
