Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
