This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
