I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
