You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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