Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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