Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
