She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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