If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sober January is a disaster.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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