i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
