Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
