Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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