did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
