Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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