I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
