Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Barsexuality is the new black.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
