Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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