Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
