I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize