I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
