butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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