I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
