we have pet lesbian snakes
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
