yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
