Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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