Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm at about main and main street
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
don't judge my taste in strippers
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
