Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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