i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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