TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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