Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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