I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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