If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
