Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I showed him my bush... on skype.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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