Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize