If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
