Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
