Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
