I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
