i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
