"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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