didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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