Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
