I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
