So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
