he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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