she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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